The Three C’s of Executive Presence
Have you ever experienced that leader who just walks into a room and commands an executive presence you can’t miss? Now how do you get that for yourself? In this episode, Traci and Rob discuss how character, credibility, and communication are the keys to obtaining an impactful executive presence.
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Announcer:
Welcome to be Overly Human podcast, where we discuss all things human in the workplace. Because it's not just business—it's personal too.
Rob:
I'll never forget. About 20 years ago when I started my career working in tech, my first professional job. My first week there at this big enterprise company software development shop, we had a skip level, which is where our director, our boss's boss came into our weekly staff meeting. And it was kind of an interesting time, because I hadn't even been in a normal staff meeting really yet.
But it was interesting because when this gentleman walked into the room, there was a weight to him being there. There was this presence that he had, and this respect that he instantly got and everybody got quiet. I didn't know it at the time, but I've learned since then, we call that executive presence.
Traci:
That’s right.
Rob:
And I'm sure you've got something like that too. I think we all have felt early in our careers, what it feels like when somebody who has that, that thing shows up.
Traci:
Yep. I used to say when I would see people like that early in my career come in, I'd say, "Oh my gosh, I just want to be her when I grow up." You just felt their presence. You know it when you see it, this sort of authentically confident person who owns it.
Rob:
Yeah. So, as we're preparing to talk about executive presence today, I do what I normally do. I start my research on Google and I type in the things we're going to talk about and this definition popped up for me, okay.
So, executive presence is about your ability to inspire confidence. Inspiring confidence in your subordinates that you're a leader that they want to follow. Inspiring confidence among peers that you're capable and reliable. And most importantly, inspiring confidence amongst senior leaders, that you have the potential for great achievements.
And I rolled my eyes a little bit.
Traci:
That's long and hard to remember.
I'll simplify it and just say, executive presence is how you present yourself. It's your way of being, and I think of it in two buckets. It's your understanding and awareness of who you are and how you're showing up and how you're perceived. And then also, your understanding and awareness of how others are perceiving you. Your ability to read the room. Your ability to understand yourself and your ability to read the room are two really important skills to have, and they kind of sum up executive presence for me.
Rob:
Yeah. And we've done something clever here. We've come up with our Three Cs of Executive Presence, and those are Character, Credibility, and Communication.
So, let's break these down a little bit and start with Character.
Traci:
Yeah. So Character, I feel like is the foundation of this because you can own a room, walk in, have confidence. But if people look at you and they don't see a person of character—a humble, authentic, empathetic, and a diplomatic person—it's really hard to say, "That's the person I want to be when I grow up." Because you really need to have that kind of core character to be admired, to be the leader that people want to follow. And I think it's the foundation of executive presence. It's what makes it real to people, that humble, authentic confidence and that keen, empathetic understanding of those around you. And that's why I think the first C should be Character.
Rob:
Yeah. And that comes with this healthy degree of vulnerability, but not disclosure, either, right? How do you walk that line about being authentically vulnerable and talking about things that are hard and being real with people without divulging things that shouldn't be divulged? And it gets into that whole idea…we did a whole episode a while back on emotional intelligence, and knowing the difference between those two radically different places because I think we all know when somebody crosses that line from vulnerability into disclosure and everything just changes.
Traci:
Yeah. And emotional intelligence, if you really want to get good at executive presence, just get your emotional intelligence, really hone that skill and those skills. Because what you're talking about is emotional expression, which is one component of your EQ. And when we talked about emotional intelligence on another episode of our podcast, we talked about balance. So, you never want to be too high or too low.
So, emotional expression too high, you're emotionally vomiting on everybody. It's too much information. You need to dial it back. Emotional expression too low, you're way reserved. And some people think, "Oh, I'm a steely box. I am this stoic strength of the office." and it's like, "Hmm, not great either." because then people don't really know how you feel, if you feel, can you relate, do you connect?
So, you want what you're talking about, that happy medium. That true, authentic vulnerability where you're real and approachable and authentic, but you're not out of control emotional. And we've had those people we've worked with too, who feel like they have to run the halls and be dramatic and slam a door to show that they really care. No, that doesn't...people can't operate in that or navigate that. So, we want that balance. We're looking for a balanced, emotionally effective person.
Rob:
Yeah. And I also think, when I think character is that whole idea of calmness under fire, right? It's dealing with stress well. We all exist, especially in this spot where we're talking about being a good leader in the workplace. But regardless of wherever you're a leader and you have people that are following, they want to see somebody who is calm, who has thought things out.
And there's that spot where I find that you can have calmness and vulnerability at the same time, right? It gives power to speak the feelings that we're actually having, right? I know that I've been in situations where it's like, "Okay, my initial reaction is this, but I know that the more measured action is this over here." And sometimes even saying that, lets people know that like, "No, no. I'm very much human and I feel this way, but the best result that serves us better is this other thing that we should do instead."
Traci:
Right. And its integrity really. So, Character is just being honest. And what you're saying is, "I'm speaking the truth. I'm speaking the feeling that we're all feeling." which is how you read the room, to say, "Ooh, there's some tension in here, let's address it." And that's part of executive presence, to be able to confront the emotion in the room, to speak it, to name it, and to pull people through it to the other side.
So, there's an integrity in that and honesty in that. You're not spinning things in a way that you just are trying to get out of it. You're not trying to BS people. You're just standing in your truth and you own that. And there's a certain confidence that you exude when you do that, when you're like, "No, I'm not scared of this. I'm not going to spin it. I'm going to own it. I'm going to name it." And that's part of owning the room, owning yourself.
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Rob:
Yep. Okay. So our second C is Credibility.
Traci:
Credibility is, we all know those empty suits as they're called, right? I'm sure we've all worked with people who are a lot of hot air, a lot of talk, and you're not really sure they truly understand what they're talking about. So, Credibility is just having substance. You know, your topic. You know what's going on. You're educated. You're curious. You've learned. You've asked questions. You understand the situation. You're not just coming in and blowing a lot of hot air and pontificating on things that either don't matter or you don't really understand. I think that people who have executive presence are people who are really interested and interesting.
Rob:
And I think the other part that goes with that as Credibility is, a huge part of Credibility is staying in your lane. It shows so much credibility when you say is like, "I actually don't understand this." Or, "I'm not the right person to talk about this or pontificate about this topic. Let's go get this other person." Right? I've often said to our clients and our team is, "I want to only do the things that we can do really, really well." And knowing what that is holds up our credibility with our clients and with each other.
I've often made the joke that on my tombstone, it'll say, "Here lies, Rob. He knew his lane and stayed in it." Right? This is huge for me is knowing exactly what I'm good at, and then where I can lean on other people, because we exist on teams.
Traci:
Yeah. And it takes a certain level of maturity to have the kind of Credibility substance that we're talking about. And what you're talking about to be able to say in the moment, "I'm not really sure I'm the best person to be talking about this." or, "I don't know." or, "I need to get more information or maybe let's ask Bob, because I know that he knows more about this than I do. What do you think Bob?" There's a maturity to that.
And I feel like when you're younger and you're less certain, sometimes you start just talking to fill the space or you try to take a stab at what you think should be said. But executive presence, a person again, just kind of owns what they know and knows what they don't know. And they're totally comfortable in that.
Rob:
Yeah, that's absolutely right. I think we could all learn to say the following, right? When asked something that we're not sure of is, "That's a great question. I'm not sure I know the answer right now. Let me get back with you." I've been in thousands of meetings at this point, and I've never once had somebody say, "Well, that's just unacceptable." There's things we don't know, and people appreciate when we draw those lines and say, "Hey, that's a great question. I didn't anticipate it. Let me go find the answer for you and I'll get back with you."
Traci:
And I also think something to add to that too is, when we're talking about Credibility as well in the context of executive presence, it's important to also do your homework. I'd like to see people who actually have done their homework before a meeting, have asked around about what's going on, have picked up a book on the topic if they're going to go and talk about a certain thing in the, in the tech world, a trend that's coming up or leading some sort of educational movement, we're talking in the context of executive presence, is really somebody who, like we said before, is a learner. They want to know more.
And when we talk about people we look up to and who we saw this in, when we were younger and in the workforce, it was typically people who had something to say, they were like, "Well, I just read an article on this." Or, "You guys should check out this book because it's really cool. It talks about dah, dah, dah, dah." And I was always like, "Wow, good for you. Outside the office, you're actually educating yourself in your spare time. You're actually reading and trying to learn. And you're teaching me. I feel like you're a little bit of my Yoda, a little bit of my guru." And I think anybody who has true executive presence, has to be exuding some of that.
If you just aren't interested and you're not learning every day and then bringing that back and sharing it to people, it's hard to say, that's the person that owns the room. That's the person that really exudes executive presence.
Announcer:
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Rob:
Okay. And our third C, which is Communication.
Traci:
Yes. And this is Communication in all ways. So, this is somebody who can speak well in public. I know that's difficult for some people. There's a fear of public speaking that permeates the society as a whole. But somebody who really has executive presence, it's hard to say, "Wow, that person really owns it." if they can't speak well.
And there are so many ways to hone this skill, but I encourage everyone to just at least take a class or put themselves out there where, it doesn't have to be speaking on a stage in front of people, but speak up in a meeting. Practice speaking out, putting your ideas out there. But it's speaking to your team, it's the way emails are written, it's how you talk on the phone. I know that not a lot of people talk on the phone in the workplace anymore, but try it out. Try picking up the phone and talking to somebody. It's how you come across on Zoom, how do you look? Are you sitting up straight? A lot of this communicating through your appearance.
There's a reason why people say first impressions are everything, and I try to remind my kids of this too. Sometimes, you only have one shot to really get that impression, so maybe don't look like you just rolled out of bed, maybe groom yourself a little bit. And this goes back to professionalism, how we come across, how we speak, how we show up. And it's mainly because we really want to show people we care. We care. We are focused. We're here. We're present. This is the presence of executive presence.
Rob:
Yeah. And I think it's like back to, even the simpler communication pieces, being able to clearly articulate things like vision and mission and values, and break those down for people, right? How do we take sometimes complicated things and make them simple again? And I think that's a hallmark of executive presence, for me, is how do we make sure that everybody's on the same page? And this gets back to that whole two-way communication, right? Communication happens, not at the speaker's mouth, but at the listener's ear. And how do we make sure those messages are received? And I think that's a huge piece.
And the second thing about Communication that I think about a lot is, how do I become a better listener, and a great listener? And I think that is so, so important when we talk about executive presence, because people want to follow and trust people who they think have heard them. And so much goes into listening and being able to communicate well with others, right?
One of my favorite things to say is when I'm in a meeting with somebody else and they start talking about something that I'm not sure I understand, or I'm not sure that they've clearly communicated, I'll just simply say, "Hey, can you say more about that? Can you unpack that for me?" because I want to make sure that we're on the same page and that I've correctly heard and listened to what they intended to say, not necessarily how I interpreted it.
Traci:
I think we're talking about two things here. One is, showing that you're curious. You know my favorite saying, be more curious than certain. And I think it shows you're listening when you're curious and you're asking questions. And I think we're also talking about valuing people. So, when you are saying, "Tell me more about that. I want to hear your point of view and want to hear what you have to say." that's valuing.
And so, it is important because when we're talking about our presence, our executive presence, how we're showing up, how we are appearing to other people, we don't want to appear as a know-it-all. That's not the person that we're talking about when we're talking about executive presence. We're talking about somebody who knows things, is educated, is interested and intellectual. But they're also curious and they want to hear more. And I think that's what draws us to that person is that ability for them to seem interested in what other people are saying. And that is part of Communication.
There's a lot of simple things with executive presence that I think sometimes people forget or may have been forgotten, just that there's a professionalism in executive presence and I think that's important for people to note. Any book that's out there, any article you read on executive presence, will talk about professionalism, will talk about the way you craft an email or the way you communicate with a client. And you and I have talked about this before, and it all has to do with trust, right?
One of the things that I had to do with a lot of people who just started at work that were just straight out of college, was what I jokingly would say is, "De-emoji the email." because there were a lot of smiley faces and exclamation points and pictures. And I'd say, "Okay, there is a time where you can get there, when you have a relationship you formed. But if this is the first time you're talking to a client, what they want to know is that they can trust you and that you're handling the money they're spending well."
And so right now, we're having a little bit of construction done on our house, little things that needed to be fixed in the bathroom. And I'm communicating with the contractor that we've hired, and I am so impressed with the way he communicates with me, just what he says in his texts, how his emails are crafted, he mirrors back, like you said, things I've said. I want to make sure, because I heard you say this. And I feel so at ease. I feel so relaxed and relieved because we have to write a check and spend money to have this work done.
And so, we need to remember, that's how our clients see us and then, even the people who work for us see us. That part of executive presence is just, we're communicating in a way that is professional and shows again, that we care and that we can be trusted.
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Rob:
And I think that going back to the original simplified definition that we gave, which was how you present yourself and how you show up as a leader. I think that I love that second part of how you show up, because how you show up relays intention to me which means that it's a decision you can make to do something that adds to it.
And I think that you kind of, during our pre-show conversation, you were saying, "Hey, people ask me all the time for executive presence coaching. And I often say, Hey, work on your EQ. Work on your emotional intelligence." And I think that that's a really interesting thing, but so much of this stuff seems like it can be fixed and addressed with good intention and knowing how others are perceiving you and showing up in a way that they want to be a part of that, that they can look up to, or they want to follow that, or they want to join in.
Traci:
I would encourage, if people are really in positions of leadership that are listening to this, to strongly consider getting a 360 done. Even when I'm hearing you talk, and I think about the 360s that I've delivered to my clients. In some cases, this shows up you where there are employees that will say, "I wish that he was a little bit more professional on sales calls." Or, "I wish that this person would just speak better." Or, "I wish that he, it's hard to tell my boss that I think she needs to work on public speaking skills, but she really needs to work on public speaking skills."
It's amazing to me, when doing a 360, how much executive presence issues show up. And I think we don't think about it or we've devalued it today because we're like, "Oh, we're just keeping it real. I want to be one of the guys. I want to be one of the girls. I don't want to be different from my staff. I want to just blend in."
And it's like, I get that intentionality. I get that train of thought where you don't want to seem above or more than you are, or some sort of megalomaniac or something like that. I totally get that and appreciate that, but that's not what we're talking about here. We're talking about somebody who again, has that humble confidence who can come in, who people trust, who, when they walk into a sales call, the rest of the staff, like, "Oh, thank God he's here. He's going to just own it and turn it on." And there is just something just so powerful.
And it's a flexible skill, like emotional intelligence. It can be honed. But like you just said, it's intention. This is something that you have to be aware of and be intentional about and know that's important and want to really work on it. Because when you have it, it's a great thing to walk in a room and have people that are glad you're there and want to work with you and know that you will get it done, and they trust you and they're happy that you're their leader. They're proud of that, you know? And I think, "Boy, I want to be that type of leader." But you have to work for it. You have to pay attention to it.
Rob:
Yeah. You have to show up and show up well. We like to talk about being one of the people, one of the staff, one of them all the time, but there is a power dynamic and there's an investment here by their time and their energy. Our staff wants to know that they're following somebody who has got a plan, who at least has direction and intention to do something bigger than themselves, right? That's why they're showing up. They have lots of options where they could work, especially in our industry, but they're there for that higher purpose, that mission that we've set out to do together. And it's the executive's job with their presence to show up and lead the way.
Traci:
Yeah, it is. It is. And it's a tricky one, executive presence, especially in the tech industry, because there's a lot of people who downplay appearance or downplay dress or downplay communication and many people who've never had training in that. So, we're talking about entrepreneurs who just developed something, started a company and they are only thrown on a stage if they're in front of a client. And sometimes we've lost that skill or haven't had the opportunity where... I come from a media background, so I worked at a huge company where we were being trained on this all the time. Public speaking training, all sorts of different type of trainings when it came to executive presence.
And there was a lot of emphasis put on our appearance and how we showed up, and that we represented a brand and it wasn't just about ourselves. It was really representing a company. And so there's different mentalities around that. And I think it's interesting for entrepreneurs and smaller mid-sized companies to think about this concept, to think about how are we showing up? How are we representing? In your case, how are we representing the brand Sparkbox in all ways? How do we speak? How do we look? Are we trustworthy? How are we communicating? How are all these things coming across? And I think it's a really interesting thing to discuss as a leadership team, to just say, "How do you guys think we're coming across?" as in this whole concept of executive presence.
Rob:
Yeah. And I think that the startup mentality and some of the leaders we see there is interesting, because I think one of the best ways to judge your executive presence is have to do sales. And a lot of those companies who we look at those leaders and say, "Ooh, they don't have to do sales." right? This is a big deal. It's something that I think about a lot, especially in the sales context. I'm wearing a t-shirt right now, but I've got a meeting shirt hanging about five feet to my right here, that's pressed and ready to go and it's got a collar. And from a Zoom perspective will completely change my appearance and make me look like I'm showing up, that I respect the relationship and the investment that the people I'm talking to are going to make in our relationship. And I think that's really what it is when we talk about like executive presence from the outside. It's a language of respect and trust.
Traci:
And I would just encourage you to also remember that we're selling internally too. So, sometimes I think it's hard for our employees to see that we're only shiny and buffed up and focused externally, and then we're a completely different human internally. So yes, we do want to be more approachable and keeping it real internally. And having relationships are very different internally than they are externally. But I had this conversation with somebody who I was coaching not that long ago about how they were showing up for people's reviews. And it really was bothering people that he was showing up half in, not prepared, disheveled and it just didn't seem important.
And so, sometimes I think we just need to remember that it is important how we're showing up to our employees, just as much as how we're showing up to our clients. And when they see a vastly dramatic difference, that can be a tough pill for them to swallow.
And again, is something that I often see in 360s come out is like, "You just don't seem like you care in our one-on-ones or our reviews." And some of our employees are hanging on our every word. This is their opportunity for feedback and growth. So, how we're, how we're showing up... And I can remember being at a bureau event and an owner coming up, and this is pre-COVID, saying, "I've got somebody that, we're a remote company, and he always has his basket of dirty laundry in the background. And when he dials in, the background looks awful. And how do I talk to people, and am I allowed to talk to people about that?" Again, executive presence, how you show up, what's your background look like?
And like you're saying, it's not that difficult. It only takes a few minutes. But let's show up well, because again, it shows how much we care.
Rob:
Yeah. It comes back to intention, as so many things do.
Traci:
That's so true.
Rob:
Thanks, Traci. I appreciate it.
Traci:
Thanks. This was good. Until next time.
Announcer:
The Overly Human podcast is brought to you by Navigate the Journey and Sparkbox. For more information on this podcast, or to get in touch with Traci or Rob, go to overlyhuman.com. If you like what you've heard, subscribe and tell your friends to listen. Thanks.
